I was once driving with friends in the car and needed to fill up on gas. As we were getting close to the gas station, my friends tried to pressure me to ask the attendant something odd instead of the usual, “Fill regular, please.” They decided I should say, “Fill decaf!”
I absolutely refused.
I was so focused on not listening to my friends advice, that as I rolled down my window, the words that popped out of my mouth were, “Fill decaf, please!”
In Novorodok, there was a practice to do things like this intentionally. The common example was to go into a pharmacy and ask for nails. (In a time where pharmacies actually only sold medicine…)
Rav Yehuda Leib Nekritz explained the reason for this behavior was to train yourself to have courage in any situation. Once you can make a foolish request intentionally, you start being able to stand up for what’s right even when you feel foolish. This wasn’t something they did everyday, rather just occasionally so they would have the courage “in their back pocket” for when it was needed.
The same goes for practicing bitachon. Once you start and get a little experience with smaller things, you know that you have the ability to have bitachon when bigger things arrive. It’s already in your pocket.
In Tehillim (121:5) it states, “Hashem tzilcha,” – “Hashem [is like] your shadow.” In what way is Hashem like a shadow?
When you make shadow puppets and put one finger in front of the light, your shadow will have one finger. When you put your whole hand in front, you see a whole hand.
Hashem responds to us like our shadows do. When we rely on ourselves, Hashem responds by only giving us whatever we can accomplish on our own. But when we rely on Hashem’s mighty hand, he responds with His full strength!
It is up to us to choose how to receive Hashem’s blessings.
The Alter of Novorodok was once studying bitachon. As an exercise, he went to a hut that he had in the forest and intentionally did not bring a candle*. He sat there learning knowing that it would get dark and he had no way at all of getting any light. The Alter remained in the hut as night fell, leaving the hut completely dark.
After a short while, a man whom the Alter had never seen before arrived at the door of the hut holding a candle! Without a word, the man handed over the candle and hurried off into the forest.
The Alter never found out the identity of the man.
This was the strength of his bitachon, even in a situation where he didn’t need to have bitachon, he knew that bitachon would help anyways.
Bitachon helps in any situation, at any time. and for anything.
As a postscript to the story: The Alter held on to the stub of this candle as a reminder of the power of bitachon. One day, there was a fire that destroyed the Alter’s home, including the candle. His family was very distraught at the loss of the candle stub which meant a lot to them.
The Alter told them, “Until now, we needed the candle to help us with bitachon. It must be that now we reached a level where we no longer require a reminder.”
* There is a slightly different version of this story that is recorded by the Steipeler, however this is the way it is presented in the Alter’s sefer and how it was passed down in the family.
Rabbi Y. Perr shlit”a relates a personal story about two of his father’s cousins, Gittel and Faigel. Gittel was around ten years older than Faigel and was elderly and needed care. Faigel took Gittel into her home where she faithfully took care of Gittel day and night.
After a few years of this arrangement, Gittel passed away.
Now that she was no longer taking care of her sister, Faigel had some time to take care of herself. Faigel had a knee that needed to be replaced and she decided that now was a good time to do it.
Shortly after the procedure, Rabbi Perr went to visit Faigel in the hospital. When he arrived, Faigel was not in the room. He found Faigel’s husband looking ashen.
“Where is she?” Rabbi Perr asked.
“She’s in the ICU.” Faigel’s husband answered. “This morning, before I came to visit her, she was served a bagel for breakfast. As she was eating, she began to choke. The doctors rushed in and performend CPR, but she’s still not responsive .”
Shortly after, Faigel passed away.
Rabbi Perr spoke by the levaya and pointed out the unlikely way the Faigel died – in a hospital from choking while surrounded by doctors! It made very little sense.
It’s possible that Faigel’s time to go may have come earlier, but it was the merit that she had for taking care of Gittel that kept her alive! We thought that Faigel was helping Gittel, but really Gittel was helping Faigel!
Often in life we make assumptions about the challenges we face. We usually don’t realize the benefit we receive from them.
Continued from previous articles.
There is a principal in bitachon that we can see from the story of Rava.
If we think about it, if Rava hadn’t seen his sister in many years, it must be that they lived far apart. This means that by the time the guest arrived by Rava and made his request, Rava’s sister must have already been on the road with her basket of chicken and wine. So how do we attribute the guest getting what he wanted to bitachon if it was already coming before he had bitachon?
When Rava’s sister was on the way, anything could have happened that may have prevented her from bringing the gifts. It could have been stolen, rotted, or even left behind. It was the guest’s bitachon that ensured it’s safe arrival.
The same is in every situation in our lives. Hashem sends the solution to our troubles in advance. If we have bitachon, then the solution reaches us. But when we fail to believe, the solution might pass us right by. It is our job to have bitachon so we can tap into the answer that Hashem has already sent for us.
Parasitism (social offense)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism_(social_offense)
Social parasitism is a pejorative that is leveled against a group or class which is considered to be detrimental to society. The term comes from the ancient Greek παράσιτος (parásitos), “one who lives at another’s expense, person who eats at the table of another,” used to label the social offender. (The English language borrowed the word/concept “parasite” as a social label in the 1530s; the later use of “parasite” as a biological metaphor developed from the early 17th century.)
For example, the Russian poet Joseph Brodsky was charged with social parasitism by the Soviet authorities in a trial in 1964, who found that his series of odd jobs and role as a poet were not a sufficient contribution to society.
When the Alter of Novorodok wrote his sefer, being a parasite was considered a serious crime in Russia. Many Jews were found guilty of this crime as they were barred from many forms of employment and had to live off a charity. So he wrote as follows:
Someone who lives with bitachon doesn’t have to concern himself with living off of others as he knows he is really only receiving from Hashem.
In fact, it may very well be because of him that others have.
If we look at the story of Rava and his guest, it is very possible that because the guest had bitachon for wine and chicken, that is the only reason it came. In fact, most likely the guest shared the chicken and wine with Rava. Anything could have happened that would have prevented Rava’s sister from bringing the meal.
When someone relies on bitachon, they are not taking, they may be giving.
A guest once arrived at Rava’s home. Rava wanted his visitor to feel at home so he asked his guest, “What are you accustomed to eat?”
“A fattened chicken and old wine,” was the reply. Expensive delicacies.
Rava was taken aback. “Aren’t you concerned that you’re being a burden on the tzibbur with such a request?”
“Absolutley not! I’m not eating from your food, I’m eating from what Hashem provides.
“The passuk says, עיני כל אליך ישברו, ואתה נותן להם את אכלם בעתו – ‘… You give each of them their food in his time.’ It says ‘in his time” instead of ‘in their time’ because everyone is given his own needs at the right time for him.”
As they were having this conversation, Rava’s sister arrived who he hadn’t seen in thirteen years, and with her she brought… a fattened chicken and old wine!
Rava was shocked at the turn of events. He apologized to his guest and invited him to eat. (Kesubos 67b).
We take from this story that there are no limits to bitachon. When you live with bitachon you do not have to live a frugal life. You can enjoy life as you are used to.
We can’t say you can only have bitachon for certain things and not for others, becuase Hashem’s abilities are endless!
Once you know that the Ribbono Shel Olam will be taking care of everything you need, you can rely on that more than you can rely on the money you have in your pocket!
Topic to be continued
The Yerushalmi (Shabbos 6:9) brings an interesting story:
There was once an astrologer who became a ger. One day he had to travel someplace. Before he left, he calculated through astrology that this was an inauspicious time for travel. He thought to himself, “How can I travel in such a time?!”
But then the astrologer caught himself. “The whole reason I joined this holy nation was to distance my self from such things!” He announced, “I will go forth with the name of the Creator!”
As he was on the road, a ferocious lion approached. He quickly offered his donkey to the lion and was able to flee.
The Yerushalmi concludes, that the reason he was attacked was for doubting Hashem, but in the end he was saved for having trust in Hashem.
We take from this story, that one who trusts solely in Hashem doesn’t need to fear even if if the time or place seems dangerous. The Ribono Shel Olam is the one in control and we can always be calm when we recognize that.
Shlomo Hamelech describes the difference between a ba’al bitachon and someone without. צדיק אוכל לשבע נפשו, ובטן רשעים תחסר – A righteous person eats to satiation, but the belly of a wicked person is lacking. (Mishlei 13:25)
A tzaddik who has food for today doesn’t worry about tomorrow. He eats what he has now until he is full and knows that with bitachon he’ll have what he needs tomorrow also. He has nothing to worry about today.
But someone who relies on his own effort is never satisfied. He won’t eat all that he has today because he’s nervous he won’t have tomorrow. That’s why his stomach is never full, he’s always scrimping and saving for a “rainy day.” No day is lived to the fullest because he always has the fear of the future in his mind.
When you have bitachon, every day and any situation is the same. If you have what you need now, enjoy it. Hashem will make sure you have your needs tomorrow as well.
person without bitachon leads
a stressful life of “pizzur hanefesh” – “Having
a scattered soul.”
the pressure of life makes him do unpleasant things. Lying, cheating,
and stealing might not be natural for a Jew, but pressures and
worries may sometime lead a person there.
when dealing honestly, a person without bitachon
may have to go to great lengths or travel far to earn a living,
putting his physical and spiritual life in danger.
always worries. Maybe he didn’t flatter or honor the right person?
Maybe that person doesn’t like me?
since he relies on others, he has to always worry about the people
that the people he relies on rely on! It’s a horrible chain of worry
as he never knows what will happen. He worries about the markets, he
worries about disasters, he worries about politics!
this fear, worry, and stress are outcomes of a lack of bitachon.